funny goodbye letters

November 8, 2008

Best Break-Up Letter Ever..

Filed under: Funny letters — The Breeze @ 8:17 am

A soldier stationed in Afghanistan recently received a letter from his girlfriend back home. It read as follows: Dear Jimmy, I can no longer continue our relationship. The distance between us is just too great. I
must admit that I have cheated on you twice, since you’ve been gone,and it’s not fair to either of us. I’m sorry. Please return the picture of me that I sent to you. Love, Sara………….. (more…)

November 7, 2008

Divorce Letter – Husband gets lucky

Filed under: Funny letters — The Breeze @ 1:46 am

Dear Husband:

I’m writing you this letter to say goodbye, to tell you that I’m leaving you for good.

I’ve been a good woman to you for seven years and I have nothing to show for it. These last two weeks have been hell. Your boss called to tell me that you had quit your job today and that was the last straw.
(more…)

November 6, 2008

Funny Dear John Letter and Reply

Filed under: Funny letters — The Breeze @ 7:41 am

John,

It would be difficult for me to be any more miserable right now, I feel
like the worst person ever. First, let me start by saying that I am
truly truly sorry, and I hate myself for hurting you. Of all the people
in the whole entire world, you were honestly the last person that I
would ever want to wrong in any way. (more…)

November 5, 2008

Funny Goodbye Letter – work

Filed under: Funny letters — The Breeze @ 4:00 am
Tags: , , , , ,

Dear Co-Workers,

As many of you probably know, today is my last day. But before I leave, I wanted to take this opportunity to let you know what a great and distinct pleasure it has been to type “Today is my last day.” (more…)

November 4, 2008

goodbye, old friend….

Filed under: Funny letters — The Breeze @ 5:28 am
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i left you on the sidewalk last night with a blue stickie on your face that said “free tv – it works too!”.

this morning, you were gone.

i left you last night with the guilt a mother feels when leaving her baby behind in a basket at the door of a stranger. no farewell speech, no going away party – just one unceremonious last glance down at you on the sidewalk as i turned back to my apartment to the excitement of my new relationship. (more…)

November 3, 2008

To the “Fake” girl on the NJ Transit Train to NYPenn

Filed under: Funny letters — The Breeze @ 5:25 am
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I know you think you were smooth… but trust me honey, I’m smoother than Billy Dee Williams in a Colt 45 commertial. I picked up everything, all you little looks… all your signals.

You sat down across from me becasue the car was almost full. I looked up from my copy of the Dupont Registry and caught your eyes for a brief instant. You smiled. I nodded. I glanced down toward the pages of exotic cars that I know I will never be able to afford (and I know that you were wondering if I COULD afford) then glanced back at you. You were still looking at me. I smiled and squinted slightly, letting you know that I know that you are interested… (more…)

November 2, 2008

Funny Chain Letter

Filed under: Funny letters — The Breeze @ 5:31 am
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Dear Friend,

This chain letter started in Reno in the hope of bringing relief and happiness to tired businessmen. Unlike most chain letters, this does not cost any money. Simply send a copy of this letter to five of your businessmen friends who are equally tired. Then bundle up your wife and send her to the man whose name appears at the top of the list, and add your name to the bottom of it. (more…)

November 1, 2008

A Funny Mother’s Letter Written To Her Son

Filed under: Funny letters — The Breeze @ 5:33 am
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Dear Son:

Just a few lines to let you know that I’m still alive. I’m writing this letter slowly because I know that you cannot read fast. You won’t know the house when you come home. . . we’ve moved. (more…)

October 31, 2008

Saying goodbye blows. Period.

Filed under: Funny letters — The Breeze @ 6:07 am
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You know it has to happen. You avoid it like facial herpes, hoping against hope that you aren’t the one who has to endure it, but inevitably, like death, taxes, or a rush of homicidal rage on the Muni due to the asshole with the backpack who doesn’t realize he’s bumped into with it ten times in the last quarter mile, you have to deal with it. (more…)

October 30, 2008

Goodbye Williamsburg- it just isn’t working for me.

Filed under: Funny letters — The Breeze @ 6:10 am
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Williamsburg,
I am sorry that it has come to this, well not really sorry, it is time though.
We need to have a little chat about the way you have been behaving lately and how it has impacted upon our relationship. This is hard for me, but it needs to be done. (more…)

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